So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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