Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
