@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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