He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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