I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
