also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
