I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
