if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
