So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
