Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
