There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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