I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
