no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
