the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
