i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
