Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
