if you like me you must not know who I am
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize