Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
