Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize