she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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