I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
