On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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