Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Randomize
