Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
