I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
