She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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