sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
