we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
