things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
