Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
