come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
