There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just cut my nipple shaving
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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