you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
