I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
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Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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