You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
