I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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