She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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