she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
