Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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