Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
