She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sorry my hands just texted you
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
