I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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