soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i out mim tonsoeep
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
