Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
