covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
