so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
