my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
