she smelled like a LAN party
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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