I CAN MOONWALK!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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