So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
