I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
