So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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