I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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