We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
my poor anus
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
