If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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