yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
