I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
