Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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