Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
