After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
