You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
