people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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