Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
