Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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