i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
birth control should be required to get into college
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I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
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Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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