party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
