Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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