are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
